Offenhiemer

"I love Hank"

The last member to be exposed by agents Muddled & Skunky of the Anti-SAD Society (ASS), he had originally claimed to be the brother of Preston Hardwick, banned bass player for SHY at the CHEMIST.

They're my chips....

M&S soon confirmed this man is indeed Preston Hardwick himself.

I only need four strings...

He was a founder member of SHY at the CHEMIST, and met Torchie when he auditioned for Johnny John & the John Johnnies after reading an ad for a 'bass player with no thumbs'

. Creak,creak....

Preston has been seen recently using a five-string bass, so he can tie down cans of BudweiserTM with the extra string.

Five strings??? Yep...

While most people accept from his performance that he has little ability to play a four string instrument, let alone a five-string, Preston seems to ignore any claims to the contrary, even when faced with the foto of him below, just managing to scrape a noise from one string only...

Boing, boing boing....

(Picture courtesy of Muddled & Skunky)


Bass 'n Buds.......
	The last member to be exposed by agents Muddled & Skunky of the Anti-SAD Society (ASS), he had originally claimed to be the brother of Preston Hardwick, banned bass player for SHY at the CHEMIST. M&S soon confirmed this man is indeed Preston Hardwick himself. He was a founder member of SHY at the CHEMIST, and met Torchie when he auditioned for Johnny John & the John Johnnies after reading an ad for a 'bass player with no thumbs' . Preston has been seen recently using a five-string bass, so he can tie down cans of BudweiserTM with the extra string. While most people accept from his performance that he has little ability to play a four string instrument, let alone a five-string, Preston seems to ignore any claims to the contrary, even when faced with the foto of him below, just managing to scrape a noise from one string only... (Picture courtesy of Muddled & Skunky)	He rarely sings or moves while 'performing', but if he does it usually means he wants another beer, is threatening Nick 'O Lastic or is becoming sexually active. If you see any movement in his corner, he can probably be tamed by tossing him a BUD or a fresh young damsel from the audience like the one in the chair opposite. Preston has been the subject of investigation recently, when it was alleged by you know who, that he was the Phantom Manic Axe Attacker and had been responsible for Bernt Horgan's missing notes. We haven't a clue where they got that idea from.. ..nor to their ridiculous claims that he may also be a Mad Bin Murderer... ... because he never ever has been known to attack anything on his motorbike, especially after eating cheese. Previous Bands: Johnny John & the Johnnies, SHY at the CHEMIST. Likes: BudweiserTM, fresh young Damsels. Hobbies: BudweiserTM, fresh young Damsels, playing with axes, and running over litter bins on his motorbike
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